I cannot take this anymore, I have been driven to the edge just looking to be saved by someone.. I fuck up everything I touch and the moment I get scared I push away, not sure if I wanna see another day anymore, this has been the worst one yet, I’m sorry..
I am so sick of living in a house where it’s condensed like a prison because one hypocritical man has harsh fucking rules. I am sick of him taking useful products away from us if we do not use them to his standards. Even if we bought them! (ex: paper towels) I left my bike out last night by accident and I woke up to this lovely man screaming at me because I don’t appreciate anything apparently. I am so sick of walking on egg shells around here. My fucking little cousins can’t leave their xbox on by ACCIDENT because of the electricity bill, but he can have his tv, spot lights, air conditioning, and computer on 24/7 all year round. He doesn’t even pay the fucking bill! Get a fucking grip old man. I am sick of your shit.
“without your support I would be nothing right now.. Thank you so much.. You know who you are<3”
“therapy went good. Things are starting to come together. Now pajama time. I hate these jeans!! Jeans off >:) and time to talk to my nakey bear ;) and maybe smoke a blunt.”
“What’s the matter with the clothes I’m wearing?
“Can’t you tell that your tie’s too wide?”
Maybe I should buy some old tab collars?
“Welcome back to the age of jive.
Where have you been hidin’ out lately, honey?
You can’t dress trashy till you spend a lot of money.”
Hello again it’s you and me….
Kind like how it used to be.. Sippin wine…killin time… tryin to figure out lifes mysteries.
I don’t know what I got myself into.
Things I don’t know, things I cant see..
Pretty hard to be free.
Remember when we sat real close so that you could see my imperfections? Remember when you held my face and said I would never do that to you?
Promises, let go, Promises throw out on the ground like they meant nothing.
And Remember when we got real close and I told you all my deepest darkest secrets and I know nothing about yours. You draw me in and pull me out like some dirty soundtrack.
Imperfections are beauty..but that goes a long way… You have to love yourself to believe that.. I know it exists, but that just aint’ my fortay.
You are my fortay, you are what I am really good at.. but im starting to think we are gonna die together real fast and I am gonna wonder where the time went and what happened to us. I am gonna start thinking what I am doing wrong, but thats always the case.
Never good enough.
Never sexy enough.
Never pretty enough.
Never fantastic enough.
There is always one person who tops me, and brings me down to the ground
Been on bottom for way to long… When will I finally move up?
Maybe I am crazy to think I mean as much to you as you do to me.
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
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